an unseemly mix of politics and Mormonism
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My best spam ever:
h i. I Need help! I looking for an informttion about ways of making a coffe. Tell me please, who knows! Thank you very much!
They sure know they’re audience. I think I’ll keep it while snipping the link.
What a Romney innaguration might look like:
Jonah Goldberg borrowing from P.J. O’Rourke on Hillary Clinton’s Christmas ad:
The contrast between the Candidate of God and the Candidate of Goodies should remind everyone of P. J. O’Rourke’s timeless book Parliament of Whores.
“I have only one firm belief about the American political system, and that is this: God is a Republican and Santa Claus is a Democrat,” wrote the indispensable O’Rourke.
“God” he explained, is “a stern fellow, patriarchal rather than paternal and a great believer in rules and regulations. He holds men strictly accountable for their actions. He has little apparent concern for the material well being of the disadvantaged. … God is unsentimental. It is very hard to get into God’s heavenly country club.”
P. J. continues: “Santa Claus is another matter. … He’s nonthreatening. He’s always cheerful. And he loves animals. He may know who’s been naughty and who’s been nice, but he never does anything about it. He gives everyone everything they want without the thought of a quid pro quo.”
“Santa Claus is preferable to God in every way but one,” O’Rourke concluded. “There is no such thing as Santa Claus.”
You can see Hillary’s ad here (which I could see the GOP rerunning next year as an attack ad). Romney’s smart for not joining the bandwagon with his own Christmas ad.
“Rove Resigns To Spend More Time In Shadows.” Hilarious (and clean!) satire (some might dispue that) from the Onion:
“I’ve been away from the shadows too long, and it’s put a strain on my relationship with those black forces I hold dear,” an emotional but upbeat Rove said. “There are many personal projects I’d like to pursue all alone in an opaque void, where God Himself dares not peer, so this just seemed like the perfect opportunity to slink off into murky blackness.”
Has Postum been discontinued? William: my mother-in-law joins in your mourning.
Funny enough, when Romney was wrapping up his remarks, he said the following: “You’re going to do something which people don’t expect, which is give me a victory. And then I’m going to New Hampshire, where I’m pretty solidly in the lead in New Hampshire, and then I’m going to be in Nevada, and I’m going to win Nevada, and then I’m going to be in Wyoming, and I’ll win that one, and then Michigan, and we’re going to end up doing real darn well. That’s at least what I plan. Brian over here was afraid I was going to scream as I was saying that — the Howard Dean moment, but I’m not doing that. No predictions like that, no screaming allowed…. I’m going to find you, track you down, make sure you vote in the caucuses.”
God-O-Meter considers moving Huckabee “up to eleven.”
Mormons may be feeling a little misunderstood right now but how can we complain when they’re selling Hanukkah hams in NYC?
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